What's the deal with...

Short blog post today... sorry... I have been getting busy, doing consulting things. like... stuff. So yea, this will be short, like your nostalgic love with an idiot boy toy from years ago that has no future, but nostalgia! It's sweet, like that crap candy with the gooey middle that taste horrible and you regret ever opening the wrapper cause now you are stuck, and you have to chew, and it makes you cry when you really just want to run away. I digress... This blog is about what we consultants do. Airplanes! No that's not similar to an Eiffel tower. Get your head out of the gutter.

Really? Mushy in the middle? God... this taste likes Charlotte. Get it out of me!! 

What’s the deal with airlines? No really. F you Seinfeld. You were complaining about the airlines before they charged for drinks, luggage, seat changes, food, tv shows ($2 really?), movies, the free grab bag by the TSA (by the way… you are the grab bag). I mean these are all the airlines too! Can someone say Cartel? Oligopoly? Big words? Pay me now please. You just got billed for that by an industry expert for 600 an hour… that’s right I am an expert. How much experience do I have? Enough to know that I will kick you in the nuts if you don’t pay me. I was in debt collections son. I roll deep. Young Money!!

My old day job. Now I just consult to the guys with guns... I mean derivatives... but do they really have to be mutually exclusive?

Yea, anyways, with the current trend (I ran a regression), I have discovered what will happen next. I’m a genius. More charges! You are sitting there thinking… there is nothing left Johnny. Wrong son! How about a charge for carry-ons? Done. Weight limits (okay to be honest, not totally against that one, but I keep it right and tight). The complimentary cokes? How about no. The lavatory will have a quarter slot of entry. Or a doorman like at the clubs… a little person. Let’s be honest, those bathrooms are tiny. But he can stand there like Oddjob (awesome bond reference) and hit the water, soap, and hand you towels. I hope they go with the latter. I also thought of the next big thing. We will have to pay them for them not do things to us. $5.00, how about you pay me not to spit in your mouth?

Okay... maybe Tatum... definitely not Jonah though. Alright, neither. I promise.

One a side note, if you don’t read my blog, then you are dead to me. Which is pretty scary to think about considering there are like 6 Billion people in the world and only a few read my blog… I’m like Omega Man. Crap none of you got that reference. I AM LEGEND WITH WILL SMITH. Geez… go watch some classic movies A-holes.

I told you to go watch Omega man! Not $hit that will get you fired! Get off your work computer dumbass! 

Less words... more gifs. I'm sure some of you are happy, but probably throbbing with disappointment. I'll get another, better one up tomorrow... when I hit the ATL!!