Hey everybody! I figured I would let the storm weather out
in Atlanta before I posted another blog post. Okay, that’s a lie. I live in San
Francisco. Its been beautiful, and honestly, if I wasn’t at work with my big
boy panties on (read lacy boy shorts) I was out in the park… Grocery shopping.
Whatever. Fact is its been 13 days. Far too long. On a side note, I actually
started doing some real work, and thus my life got boring super fast. First, as
a Star Wars fan, thank you for all the Hothlanta pictures. They tickled my
tummy like a fine aged moonshine with burnt oak in the glass.
Welcome to Hotlanta where the TaunTauns play
And we ride on the T-16
like every day
Big lasers, set phasers, see troopers roamin
An ewok party don’t stop till death star is burnin
Also I know phaser is a Star Trek term, but F off, this $hit
is hard. I am going to combine the problems
with Atlanta into a Consulting gig. What we have are several situations. We
have supply chain management, Organizational change, people management, and
other fun buzzwords that probably won’t get you laid during the Super bowl.
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My typical weekend date. I dont know if its the hair, beard, or constant crying and snizzling about my absentee kitty, but man, always getting destroyed. All of us! Maybe its a new cultural thing? You know where culture is not an indication of a serious serious problem. And yes, if its champagne or house wife wine... its not a problem, its a solution.
First, supply chain. Guys. This happened in 2011. People
were ice skating down peachtree. 2 in 3 years. Might be time to buy some
infrastructure browskis. At least do a cost benefit analysis of the economy downswing
due to time off from shutting down THE WHOLE F’N CITY and the cost of a few snowblowers. In 2011 we
had like 3 machines, now we have over 40. What was the problem? Sherman did a
better job of melting the snow over 100 years ago. Granted… he also burnt my
beloved home. Yeap. Screw you Sherman. Why couldn’t you just set Charlotte on
fire? No one cares about that place. At all. Its not even hell, it’s a weird
purgatory of bitterness and losership. But I digress.
The following is a quiz. This is either
A. my friends in Atlanta during snowmageddon trapped at the office
, B. My Ex that hates the fact she chose charlotte and the carnie to live with
C. Me everyday under my desk avoiding my Manager.
D. All the above, we are living in tears, wine, and work.
We need policies in place. And don’t tell me they exist.
Strip clubs have better policies (actually pretty strict ones if you think
about it). Which comes organizational change! Hire GMs of strip clubs to be
policy makers. I am just saying… this could be a game changer. And they would
probably be less corrupt. Fine, you don’t want to hire my friends. Whatever. At
least do the people management! Get a sister city in the north. Maybe a Canadian one.
Then do a switch. They can have Kassim Reed, Nathan Deal, and Santa (cause he’s 'merican), and we can have whoever the hell is in charge of snow patrol. I still
say we won.
Just think about what Atliens (people from Atlanta) could teach Canada!
And then they will instantaneously teach the city how to fix the road system when we have 2, yes 2, inches of snow.
Lastly, how do we pay for this? I mean the politicians bar
tabs are so high as it is and lobbyists only have so much cash… well don’t worry.
I got your back. Taxes. Don’t freak out. I say we tax the hipsters. I don’t know why.
It just feels right. Low income will cry foul, the rich pay taxes, so… I think
hipsters should add to the economy. And no, buying Schlitz and flannels from
ragorama don’t count as major contributions to GDP. Sorry. Now that people, is
a motherf’n consulting roadmap.
Or we could just blow the mother up and start over. Just saying... I know a guy.
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